1. Money is one of the most frequent causes of marital friction. If you haven’t talked about it before the wedding, talk about it now. The sooner you establish a spending plan and agree on it, the more arguments you’ll avoid down the line.
2. Don’t assume all things have to be 50/50%. If you prefer balancing the checkbook and paying bills, but your spouse hates this and would rather be in charge of cleaning and scheduling appointments, that’s fine! It’s what works for you that is important.
3. Always be willing to say, “I’m sorry,” mean it. Whether it’s something small like not putting the cap on the toothpaste or something larger, the apology is more important than the incident and will be remembered far longer.
4. Never make life decisions unilaterally. Even if the new car will be used by you, your spouse’s input should be listened to and considered. Set a limit (say, $100 / £50 or $500 / £250) and agree that neither of you will spend over that amount without consulting the other.
5. Allow yourself a sense of wonder in the little things and share them. Do you see a beautiful sunset while doing the dishes? Point it out to your spouse and share that brief moment of beauty.
6. Make conscious sacrifices. Let your “better half” choose the movie, the television show or the restaurant rather than always wanting to do it. Enjoy his or her pleasure.
7. Say “thank you” for little things as well as big things sometimes. He’ll appreciate hearing thanks for taking out the trash and she’ll love a “thank you” for dinner occasionally. We often feel the most “taken for granted” for doing the daily or weekly things.
8. Praise your mate’s good qualities or something he or she has done for you to others – but within earshot. There’s no boost to a man’s self-esteem like hearing his loved one tell her mother/sister/best friend what a great job he did painting the kitchen.
9. Don’t abandon your mate in unknown situations. At your office party/family reunion, stay close and introduce him/her with some complimentary information to bolster her self-confidence. (This is my wife, Nancy. She’s been doing a great job recently working on the school play as a fundraiser.) Devise a “signal” so that when you do part, she can let you know if she needs rescuing.
10. Surprises are good. It can be as small as a note in your spouse’s briefcase, an unexpected flower or making his favorite dessert.